What is Psychological or Emotional Burnout? How to Protect yourself from Burnout at work and at home

Burnout

Burnout is not a common tiredness, but a real diagnosis. Anyone can experience it, but on average, women are more likely to be experiencing burnout because of work, and more likely to be tired from household chores and child-rearing. Psychologist Alyona Chepurkova explains how to find the signs of emotional burnout, what the causes might be (there are 10 of them) and why this problem should not be left unresolved.

Psychological Burnout

Emotional burnout is psychological burnout, which is expressed by a loss of interest in life, both personal and professional. It is caused by the fact that a person receives much less emotions that give a resource than emotions that take away energy.

People who handle the life and health of others who are weaker suffer more often from such overwork. They are doctors. Their direct duty is to "keep their hand on the pulse" educators, teachers, specialists in helping professions, members of the security forces. Also, parents are at of risk, because all the time they are responsible for their children 24 hours a day without days off, holidays and wages.

Swedish researcher Annika Norberg studied emotional burnout in fathers and mothers. She found that child-parent relationships take more energy from women than from men. 

Also, women burn out faster not only in the family relationship but also in the professional environment. This is the conclusion reached by scientists of the University of Montreal. Over 4 years, they studied the psychological characteristics of 2 026 people (half of them women).

We found the women disappointed women in their work and dissatisfied with its results, which leads to emotional exhaustion. 

Russian researchers Alexander Veshnyakov and Tatiana Elcheva made similar findings. They studied the risks of professional burnout among specialists in helping professions (psychologists, doctors, and teachers). It turned out that women hold back their negative emotions longer and are in a stressful phase, while men try to avoid emotional factors, to protect themselves from them. Additionally, male specialists have a more detached and aim attitude towards their work, while women take everything to heart.

Emotional Burnout

Emotional burnout is not fatigue or a bad mood. It is an official diagnosis, registered in the International Classification of Diseases under code QD85, which is considered being a factor in health. It affects the cardiovascular and reproductive systems, the respiratory organs, the gastrointestinal tract, hormones, and mental health. 

Signs of emotional burnout 

• You don't experience positive emotions. You are not happy even with the things that used to lift your spirits a hundred percent.
• You can't get a "taste of life": you can't even remember how to take pleasure and feel pleasure from little things.
• Everything around you is irritating.
• You experience unreasonable discomfort and anxiety.
• It is difficult to wake up in the morning, you feel wildly tired.
• You feel totally indifferent to what is going on around you.
• You are not touched by the problems of loved ones, you do not feel pity and sympathy for them, became more cynical.
• You only wish to be alone, not to be disturbed.
• You have developed nervous tics and compulsive movements, such as biting your nails, biting your lips and cheeks on the inside, and wrapping your hair around your finger.
• You feel like no one else can solve a problem or accomplishing a task.
• You have no desires: not global ones, not even the smallest ones.
• You feel stuck and do not see a way out of the situation. Things will not get any better.

10 causes of Burnout and How to Protect yourself from Burnout at work and at home

1 Feelings of futility

When you carry out the same activities and tasks day after day, it feels like you aren't doing anything and the time seems to have vanished.

For example, many women know the feeling: woke up in the morning, cooked breakfast, fed everyone, cooked lunch, fed everyone again, did chores, cooked dinner, everyone ate - that's the evening. And nothing much gets done as planned. And you're so tired you feel you've been unloading wagons.

There is a depressing feeling of dissatisfaction with yourself. We blame ourselves, reprimand ourselves, and forget to be grateful to ourselves.

What to do?

Get a notebook and write everything you've done all day. Write it down item by item (yes, wash the dishes and make the bed, too). Write it down and be amazed: how much you did in one short day. And feel good about it.

It is also useful to record in the notebook gratitude for the day: what was good, surprising and joyful in it. Suddenly, it turns out that in the hustle and bustle of housework there was time for reading an interesting book to the children, and for a romantic conversation with your husband, and for a cup of freshly brewed coffee. We're just not used to focusing on and appreciating the little things in life.

2. Work

In most cases, a repetitive process in which all tasks are familiar and no longer interesting causes burnout. The brain performs the same activity repeatedly without building new neural connections. Routine work does not evoke positive emotions and one does not get satisfaction from its results.

Photo : PNG Tree

But constant strenuous mental work also leads to emotional exhaustion: the brain wastes all the energy on solving non-standard tasks.

What to do

First, you need additional sources from which to draw resources. If your professional life is lacking creativity, it is important to find an activity for the soul. A hobby helps to restore energy and relaxation.

Second, it's important to separate work from your personal life and make sure you give yourself a break. If you're actively performing professional tasks all day, then outside the office you can switch it off. Particularly often, the boundaries between work and personal time are blurred in those who work remotely and use every free minute for this purpose, including at night. In such situations, you must strictly regulate work time under the family schedule, otherwise there will be a feeling of a 'spread-out day'.

3. Everyday life

The salary compensates for the strain of professional life. However, we do not get paid for our daily domestic work and sometimes we are not even thankful. And worst of all, the results of this work quickly become null and void.

Cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing, grocery shopping - activities that take up the remaining energy and time after work. But the dinner is immediately eaten, the dishes get dirty again, the dust returns, and the laundry, ironed yesterday, turns into a shapeless pile today.

The process is endless and exhausting, especially if you do it all by yourself.

What to do

There is no getting away from household chores. But you can minimise them and delegate them. Let every member of the family have their own responsibilities (even little kids). Pulling everything on yourself is not a good idea.

The fear that no one else will do a better job often prevents us from delegating. But it's not so bad if the child sweeps the floor somehow or the husband washes the dishes and forgets about the frying pan; it's much worse if you're exhausted trying to do everything.

Perfectionism can be a nuisance at home: it can make a woman not a super-housewife but a nervous, exhausted maid.

4. Perfectionism

Stereotypes impose a desire for women to succeed at everything and everywhere: to be an excellent worker, a caring mother, a perfect wife and lover, and an interesting and motivated person. To be the best and irreplaceable. 

And many people believe it is possible to combine a lot of roles and still perform them perfectly. Because we see such perfect and successful women in movies, TV shows and on social media. They stir the soup with one hand and hold the baby with the other, while they work out and hold a work meeting at the same time. And all with a slight smile on their face.

And when we fail to live up to that picture, we get upset and blame ourselves for weakness and laziness.

What to do

Accept the fact that you can not be both a businesswoman, chef, top class maid, an excellent educator and teacher, fitness model, passionate lover and self-developed personality. 

Every woman has an area in which she is a professional. So why don't you put all your irrepressible energy into it? And in the other areas, you can just be good. Or even not so good.

5. Sleep deprivation .

If you want to maintain physical and mental health, you need eight hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. A good night's sleep requires a 22-23 hour bedtime and an early wake-up, before 7 a.m. If it force us to wake up at dawn by obligations, then in the evening we want to delay going to bed as long as possible, so that we can "live for ourselves".

Sleep is one of the main helpers in the fight against emotional burnout. Lack of sleep has a negative effect on the nervous, hormonal, cardiovascular systems.

What to do

Sleep well, no matter how trite it may sound. Try to go to bed before 23, ventilate and humidify the room, close the windows with black curtains, turn off gadgets. 

However, watching a Netflix Series at night, or browse your favourite social networking sites to unburden your brain, it's better to get over it and spend the time you have left to sleep. Take comfort in the thought that as your body recovers and accumulates resources, you'll get more sleep and you'll spend less time doing what you're used to. So there will also be an opportunity for Netflix series and social networking.Example:

At the end of the day, you can give yourself a self-massage session with a tennis ball. Stand up against a wall, put the ball between your back and the wall and roll it around, paying particular attention to your neck and shoulders.

7. Lack of privacy

When there is no space to be alone with yourself, to do the things you love and to catch your breath, it's not an opportunity to recover your inner strength.

It constantly violated personal boundaries: everyone needs the help and attention of a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend... A woman gets involved in the other's problems , satisfies the needs of others, solves problems that are not of her personal interest. This forced involvement is a significant factor in emotional burnout.

What to do

Seek the opportunity for privacy. 

If you have a small child - devote the time to his or her daytime nap. 

If the children are older - explain to them that mum needs time to herself. A "loneliness signal" works better: e.g. if mum sits in her favourite armchair - you can't go near her for 15 minutes. Or if mum is drinking coffee - wait until she's finished.

If there are no children, but there is a partner demanding attention, just feel free to say: "I need to be alone with myself now". 

8. Children's tantrums and crankiness

Children's vivid, emotional reactions are sometimes disruptive. Because of their age, children find it difficult to control themselves and to manage the expression of their feelings, so they "dump" them on an adult. The adult has to work out these reactions and handle the situation by explaining what the child is feeling and why. But to do this, the adult needs to be emotionally balanced. Then the tantrums are stopped and the child gets a new emotional experience.

But what usually happens in reality? The adult has no time to recover from another tantrum. We react more and more negatively to the emotional outburst of the child each time. The child, charged with this condition shows his or her emotions more vividly. The adult gets turned on more and more quickly. A vicious circle.

What to do

Restore the resource. In every way possible: sleep, hobbies, private time, bathing, eating, drinking tea, watching a movie, reading a book, exercising.

If a tantrum catches you at a time when you're running out of energy, this technique can help:

Tense all the muscles in your body firmly, freeze for a few seconds, then relax sharply. Then close your eyes and take three or four deep breaths and exhales. This will stabilise your emotional background and give you a few minutes to respond calmly to the situation. 

To deal with a child's tantrums, sit at eye level with your child and place your palm on his shoulder blades. Don't ask them to stop crying (they can't hear you). If your baby is okay with this, give him a hug. If he pushes you away, just stay quietly by his side. When the child calms down, you can discuss the reason for this powerful emotion.

After you have dealt with the tantrums, drink some water and listen to yourself. What do you want? Do you want to wash your face, lie down for a while, get some fresh air or sit in silence with your eyes closed? Do that to regain your strength. Be sure to pay attention to the muscles of the jaw: if they are tight, relax them, move the jaw from side to side.

During quiet periods, it is useful to read stories about emotions to your child, to introduce them and to teach them how to live them. Puppet theatre is good for this, where different situations and ways of dealing with them are played out.

9. Lack of sources of positive emotions

In everyday life, it seems difficult to find opportunities to make ourselves happy. Where to get a resource? A mountain of dishes or checking homework?

It is actually possible to create your own mood in simple ways. 

What to do

Surround yourself with pretty little things. Eat a daily meal with a festive plate. Have a nice coffee in a beautiful cup. Pour cream in a milk jug. Pull out a tablecloth. Put on comfortable but nice homemade clothes. Cover the sofa with a bright velvet. Put a plate of fruit or a vase of flowers on the table. Bake a cake and fill the house with the scent of vanilla and chocolate. Spend the sunset with a glass of wine. And be sure to pay attention to these little things, mark them, imprint them in the mind.

10. The need to "keep a face"

Although women are very emotional, they often keep their feelings in check. They don't cry when they are sad, they don't express their frustration or irritation; they don't shout when they're all boiling inside. But once the dam bursts, all their pent-up emotions explode over a small matter. This affects the nervous system and can lead to psychosomatic illnesses.

What to do

Talk about your feelings and live out your emotions without locking them away inside. If you feel hurt, tell your abuser. If you are sad, cry and explain the reason. If you are angry, beat a pillow and blow off steam. 

You don't have to fight your emotions, you have to respect them. They are all important for something. An emotion that's lived through goes away in eight seconds. The one that is suppressed stays in the body for years.

Why Emotional Burnout needs to be dealt with

Emotional burnout is a dangerous phenomenon for a woman's health. It is better to prevent it than to recover later. Prevent it every day, paying special attention to the regime of the day: sleep, food, activity.

If you notice symptoms of emotional burnout, do not expect it to go away by itself. This condition will only worsen. First of all, switch on the "energy-saving mode": cut the household chores to a minimum and rest more. If possible, take a day off from work tasks and relieve your head completely.

Don't be shy about asking for help. Tell your loved ones how you feel and explain what kind of support you need from them. 

Seek counselling from a psychologist. You can do this online. If you don't know where to find a psychologist - leave an application on one of the psychological support services. Many provide an initial consultation free. If you feel the situation is critical, you can make use of psychological helplines.

Don't delay dealing with the problem. When you have a toothache, you go to the dentist, don't you? Mental health is just as important as physical health. When a person is fit, he or she has enough strength and capacity to tackle every challenge and enjoy every day of his or her life.